I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
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