what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize