i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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