drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize