My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
its liver damage thursday
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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