Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
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