its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize