..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
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So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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