he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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