remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Randomize