ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
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