ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
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