This is not my ceiling
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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