i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
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