he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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