Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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