im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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