We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
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