Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize