He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize