Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
You're earring is so big in my mouth
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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