No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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