When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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