Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
They took my balls.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
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