Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
I wish I only lived at night.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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