EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize