I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize