A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
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