i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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