I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
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So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
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I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
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