we're chasing vodka with high fives
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
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Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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