I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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