Just fell off a train. Bad.
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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