There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
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We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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