Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
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It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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