you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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