i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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