I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize