it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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