God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize