whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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