It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize