pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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