You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
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headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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