my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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