well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
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She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
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I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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