i'm signing you up for texting rehab
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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