Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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