Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
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You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
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I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize