Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize